Nearly two years ago, my husband Steve, starting talking about how God had told him a time of transition was coming.
And since adaptability has never been a top strength of mine - and I've been perfectly content with our church, friends, home, small group, neighborhood, homeschool group - I didn't want to hear anything about "transition" coming soon. Change and I have never been close friends.
So I glossed over things in conversation with noncommittal nods and "um-hmm" on repeat. (If I don't commit to change, it doesn't have to happen, right?)
But Steve kept bringing up his conversations with God about this upcoming transition. To me. To our kids. All. The. Time.
So we started having hard conversations. I don't think I got whiney, but I definitely let my stubborn streak run loose. And, despite that stubbornness, God started to soften me - a little at a time over several months. It was hardly noticeable at first, but it was there, like hard, dry soil getting slowly tilled up and watered.
One day, Steve and I were standing at the bathroom sinks getting ready to go somewhere when I gathered up the courage to ask, "Whenever we travel to a pretty place and you toss out the question 'Wanna start a church here?' are you joking or are you serious?"
He looked at me and got a little teary-eyed. "I'm serious. I've wanted to plant a church for over 20 years."
And deep down, I've known this was his heart's desire. It just felt big and scary and completely unknown. It would mean losing the security of his 9-to-5 job. It might mean giving up our lovely home and moving to a new place, perhaps even a new state. It would mean taking on the spiritual weightiness of being held responsible for pouring into others' faith and relationships with God.
The real conversations had just truly begun. Questions became more important than ever. What is my husband's desire for this one earthly life? Is this a calling we share as a couple and a family? What are we willing to give up or change? Are we willing to relocate if God asks us to? Who will support, encourage, and keep us accountable? How will our kids react? Are we equipped or prepared to step into this kind of role? How will we make it financially?
Is this really God's next step for us?
I began this inquisitive phase holding tight to a few truths I've discovered through personal experience. First, God has always provided for all of our needs and I can trust Him to do that again. Second, when He's told us to change something or move in the past, it's always led to our good even when it didn't initially feel that way. And finally, He is worth infinitely more than anything I have to give up.
Is there something new God is inviting you to explore?
I'd love to welcome you along for the journey as we've begun to ask these questions. We have some answers - but even more questions have arisen over the months. Read Part 2 of When God Says "Go".