Make sure to go back and read part 1 of this series - because change came knocking at our door right when I'd fully settled into my happy, rooted existence. And life-altering questions became a daily part of our conversations.
I remember when we were building our current house about 8 years ago. At the time, we lived in a home less than half the size of what our new place would be. And fear snuck in whenever we'd go to check on the weekly build progress.
When I was 11, my family was evicted from our large, lovely home. We had 24 hours to move everything out or forfeit it all to the bank. Our family of four (plus our 70-lb dog) gathered everything together, filled a huge storage unit, and moved in with my grandparents. For a year, we had no official home of our own. I slept on a couch and an air mattress. (Looking back, I see how blessed I was to have a safe place to sleep, even if it wasn't my own.) I had precious few possessions because everything was in storage.
So by the time we were back on our feet and able to finally rent a little house, I had learned a vital lesson of want versus need and how to care for the few things I possessed. I left behind my inner spoiled-brat and emerged with rich lessons and valuable wisdom I've carried throughout my life.
But, as an adult, walking through our soon-to-be home, old fears rose up. Would we end up losing this house like my family lost ours?
And my fists clenched tighter, wanting to hold on, not wanting to put my kids through the turmoil of the loss and chaos. Because, even though I gained so much in my experience, it was still traumatic. Disordered eating became my norm in that season of life. Desire to control circumstances emerged. Fear over the unknown lingered with me.
Yet, in these recent months as Steve and I've continued our conversations of "what if" and what God had been speaking to each of us lately, I felt my clenched fists begin to open. I began to look around at our lovely home and see it for what it is - a place to hang our proverbial hats. The stuff is exactly that - just stuff. We actually need very little. And we've never lacked what we've needed.
Trust grew. Remembering how faithful God has been to meet every need I've had matured this trust.
My hands opened until I realized I was living that way all the time - comfortable with receiving freely from God whatever He wanted to give and willing to freely release whatever He wanted us to give back to Him.
Steve and I now stood together, ready for whatever God wanted to bring our way. We didn't have to rely on stuff or comfort or the familiar. We have a God who sees what we need and will take care of each one.
How do you feel about your things? Are your hands closed tightly around what you own? Or do you hold stuff loosely, willing for things to come and go?
Continue the journey with us. Read Part 3 of When God Says "Go".